During the Cold War, the Soviets launch a race of bipedal sharks to the dark side of the moon. Years later, Americans are hoping to colonize the moon, so they send a group of scientists and astronauts. After a crash landing, the Americans find they're not alone in their fight against the deadly shark-creatures.
With a title like Shark Side of the Moon, you can't blame them for going ahead and making the movie. But if you think you're in for an action-packed spectacle, you'll be surprised to learn this low-budget film is more "talking heads" than "PEW-PEW" actioner.
 |
| Seeing The Asylum in the titles is your first clue about the kind of movie you're in for |
What you'll find is a movie that spends a lot of time talking about its ideas in pseudo-scientific jargon while tossing ideas against the wall like so much cooked spaghetti. Sure, there are a few action pieces, but they'll mostly make you long for the green-screen technology and cinematography of 90s FMV videogames.
 |
| Effects like this were excusable in Wing Commander 3 |
The actors do well enough with the material, but the sheer Scientific Bullshit Weight™ of some of the lines they're given would break even the greatest Star Trek actors. The effects team seems to have handed most of the work off to a random pair of construction workers who would rather be laying brick. And the directing certainly made this one of the many films that have been...directed.
 |
| Seriously. I need to speak to whoever okayed the BRA on this shark creature. |
Recommended for people who thought the Sharknado movies were made a bit *too* well, anyone who likes when characters explain the plot, and green-screen aficionados. Not recommended for those who enjoy plausible science in their movies or people who hope the scripts of the films they watch at least went through a second revision.
Shark Side of the Moon is available to watch for free on Tubi.
