Well I'm immediately interested because the first five minutes has a serious "Dragon Wars" feel to it. But then it quickly lulls into the age-old story of the hallucination prone son of a father-son duo finding an egg that hatches a turtle which grows to be a giant, rubber-suited monster. But this journey is certainly not a speedy one and you'll find yourself wanting to take a moment to clear out your internet-browser cookies in order to stay awake. You also should know that the Japanese title of the film was "Young Braves of Gamera". Because that should stink in your nose a little like this film quickly does. And it's set in 2006 so we know nothing too terrible happens.
Between getting up for more beer. Sizing up the fridge contents to see if there might be some puzzle-combination that renders me dinner. And getting up to double-check that there's no more beer, I gathered some nonsense about a medical operation, a levitating and mischievous baby turtle, and some sort of political intrigue about sinking ships. And then I went to make my dinner. And then I thought that I was finally witnessing the holy grail of kaiju (the consumption of a person by kaiju) but I was fooled. That's when it happened.
I heard the roar of a kaiju from the kitchen and ran out to see. There was actually a split second of cool kaiju moment. And then gone again.
So I finished cooking dinner and then turned off this piece of crap so that I could watch something good.
Lesson learned: If you find a weird egg - that thing is a kaiju.
You are hilarious!
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