The Academy Awards 2011

This Sunday, the Academy Awards will air. This Lifetime Movie-length awards show will feature a bunch of well-dressed rich people fisting each other in congratulations over their creative accomplishments.  Before the show, there will be a pre-show which features discussion ad nauseam about whose assistant will choose the most appropriate outfit, and then the actual awards presentation for creative accomplishments which have been run through the ringer of test-audiences, re-shot endings middles and beginnings, and questionnaires about whether its imposing for the main character to wear a hat.  All in the name of making sure their art doesn't make anyone feel uncomfortable or stupid.

And despite the yearly effort to convince us that "this one will be different", just like when you pick up an old, tired whore with a fresh layer of make-up, we'll realize at precisely the wrong moment that it was all a sham.

So, I suggest an entirely different type of awards show altogether - The Ridiculosity Awards. I've culled the following from some of the films I've watched over the past year.  The videos are already queue'd up, so have a quick watch and enjoy.

And, here we go...

Best Use of a Baby in Film:  Psychomania (1973)

Best Driving Scene:  The Hand (1981)



Best Use of a Mythical Creature:  Waxwork (1988)

Best Mustache:  Lando in The Killing of Satan (1983)

Best Batshit-Crazy Trailer: Zardoz (1974)



Well, there you have it.  Feel free to suggest films for next year's awards.  Otherwise, you'll just have to deal with what I give you.

PS - Thanks for reading over the past 12 months!!