Zardoz

I could posit some theory about how this movie is actually a very long metaphor for filmmaking and/or the creative process and then support that theory by saying the floating head is the director or narrator and the mustacheo-ed Sean Connery is the wild idea of the story personified, taking on a life of its own but without a director the story just falls into craziness. But I won’t do that. The point is this: either this film is a genius, satirical, metafictional examination of some seriousness on the track of 8 ½ or it’s some crap that a couple of people on some really weird acid trips made to have most of the budget to support their habit.

One very important talking point of this film is the fact that the designer of the outfit that Sean Connery’s character “Zed” wears must have been doing some serious drugs. The idea that at least one person (the costume director) wanted to see this man wear red drapes wrapped around him (and especially how he wears them around his “junk”) is especially disheartening to me. I’m mean, I’m fairly misanthropic, but this reaches a low for society that even I can’t fathom. And this person is out there. Walking amongst you. You probably walk right past him all the time. Maybe he’s even your husband. Your child. I’m disappointed in all of you by association.

Anyhow! “Zed” gets into a giant head and takes a little flight in it. He ends up almost, but not quite, in Barbarella-land heaven where he is an instant hit with the locals because he exudes the kind of machismo that only Burt Reynolds is allowed to talk about. But mostly because of his erection. You see, the people in heaven can’t get them – or something. And they’re also immortal. Can’t forget that. So, these immortals keep trying to kill “Zed” because they know he can die and that’s what they’d want if they were actually able to die.

This movie is definitely on my list of “Need to Be Re-Made By An Artsy Director” films. Then again, this may have already been handled by the Wachowski's. There are some serious hints of The Matrix going on here.

One last thing: if you’re ever asked to name a movie where the main hero is a rapist, you’ve got one in your pocket now!