Sunday, October 3, 2010

Advertorialisms

A few bits of commentary on the state of journalism (here and here as examples but certainly only symptoms of a wider issue):

Article 1: Does a fan really make you cooler?

Excerpts:

“Independent studies have shown that moving air actually feels cooler than air that isn’t moving. Since a fan moves the air around you, it does actually lower your body temperature.”

“Along with all the complicated research being done on what's being called 'the velocity of air,' most people also believe that having someone rooting for you (in other words, a fan), does make you a cooler person. Thus, the more fans a person or celebrity has, the cooler they are.”

“The verdict? Everyone needs a fan.”


Article 3: Is it a myth that alcohol gets you drunk?

Excerpts:

“New evidence suggests that the power of the mind over our own bodies is even greater than once thought. Hospitals are including hypnotism as a way for patients to deal with chronic pain, and placebos are constantly used in medical research with actual effects and side-effects reported by the people who take them. If the mind/body connection is this powerful, could the actual effects of alcohol actually just be something imagined?”

“While there are innumerable examples of people acting far more drunk than they actually are (oddly, this behavior occurs mostly in women of college age), scientists continue to believe that alcohol does actually get you intoxicated.”

“We took this question to the researchers involved with alcohol: Does drinking alcohol actually get a person drunk? One scientist replied to our question with skepticism, ‘What?’ he seemed to scoff. Another said, ‘Yeah, it does. We can measure how much is in your system. The more that’s in your system, the more intoxicated you are.’ But it seems the layman isn’t so positive.

We stopped an average male as he was leaving a local bar and posed the same question. His response: ‘Well, sure, I’ve had about six shots of jager and seven or eight beers, but I don’t really feel that drunk.’ And another man who was found in an alley and appeared to be unable to walk said, ‘Your mother gets me drunk,’ and then laughed incessantly.”


Article 4: Where does “wasted time” go? Can you really get it back?

Excerpts:

“We’ve all gone through a weekend and wondered on the other side, ‘what happened to all my free time?’ Well, we’ve set aside our actual journalistic pursuits to write an entire article about where all that time goes, and how you might be able to get some of it back.”

“As it turns out, wasted time is actually just time that we spend on things that we like so much and do so little that our accountability for that time dwindles to nothing. Mostly we’re so mentally present in the enjoyable activity that we forget to think of what we still have on our to do lists or what we’ve yet to sufficiently accomplish. As a result, time is lost and cannot be reclaimed.”

“There is a solution though. In order to avoid this common issue, the most enterprising solution we’ve found is to restrain your activities to those that you don’t enjoy - like you do at work. That way, your focus is always on the time it takes to accomplish those tasks and move on to others that you similarly don’t enjoy. By keeping to this pattern at home in your ‘free time’ as well as at work, you’ll soon realize how long you’ve spent on each and every activity. And ‘wasted time’ will be a thing of your past!”


Article 6: Think life’s “achievements” should be more like the ones in videogames? You’re not alone.

Excerpts:

“Johnny Muroski is an average 8 year-old living in the Oregan/North Dakota area. He plays almost 20 hours of video games per week and has even put a lot of his time into playing older games in order to challenge his friends to see who can get the highest score. Johnny likes the congratulations he receives when he beats a game or gets a high score. Unfortunately, when we asked him if he got the same congratulations when he did well on a test, he said no….”

“In fact, most people report that they simply do not get the same sense of accomplishment when they do well at their jobs or at school. They say that beating a really tough level of a videogame offers a real feeling that their actions have meaning in the world – that what they do has a measurable pitch and scale against the accomplishments of others. And when asked about their jobs, most reply like Johnny’s videogaming father: ‘Going to my job every day is like playing the most horribly designed level of a videogame over and over again for hours at a time. And at the end of each time you play, you don’t lose a life and then start fresh, you lose a little bit of your life-bar that you’ll never get back again.’…”

“Some theorize that life’s ‘achievements’ should be revised to more closely model those in videogames. These experts believe that there are numerous examples in modern videogames where the player is forced to complete a repetitive action ad nauseum, but that they are more content (and less likely to allow their frustration to turn into a violent rampage) with this action when there is the potential promise of recognition when it’s completed. These same experts believe that real life just isn’t like that, but that it should be.”


Article 7: Research shows that weight loss commercials don’t help you lose weight.

Excerpts:

“Are you watching television when a commercial about some new weight loss program comes on? Do you wonder if those commercials help you lose that weight that you’ve been depressed about for years?

Well, they don’t. You need to exercise.”

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