Bitch Slap

Alright. Who doesn't love naked/nearly-naked/scantily-clad/sparsely-dressed/nude-ish/overly bare women? You show me someone who doesn't love them, and I will show you someone whose soul is mal-adjusted. Straight women love women. Lesbians love women. Even a bunch of gay dudes out there dig on the female form sans the attraction aspect.

Bitch Slap focuses on this from the start without being too much about breaking "type." In the first five minutes there's a group of women who've taken some dude hostage in their trunk. That's no the problem. The problem is, one of them is almost reduced to tears when he sends a harsh word her way. At this point, I'm still hoping that the film might be about everyone stepping into baddassery. Later, there's the obligatory lesbian scene. It's grindhouse. I dig it.

Come to find out, this movie has absolutely no clear direction. One second, it's the "play on grindhouse movies" movie. The next, it's jamming in some heavily green-screened scene straight out of the live action Speed Racer Movie. And suddenly she's using a hair-pick to interact with a computer and there's some serious green-screen again. Then we're back to the grindhouse. And to some scene that would look appropriate coming from a cutscene on an early 90's computer game (see below).

(trust me, you'll want to watch the following)

Maybe I don't get it. There might be some serious genius going on here. To be honest though, the use of all of these different filming techniques might be interesting in its variety, but their overuse raises the question of whether these choices were made deliberately...or haphazardly. I can see little evidence of one - and a lot of the other.

But then again, I do love sexy women doing their acting-things, dripping in their own sexiness. While being sexual.

So, the lesson here is: If you're going to just hit one note in your movie...

Boobs is never a wrong answer: