I haven't actually been watching this movie for the first ten minutes. There's a certain point in the timeline of watching movies like this that you realize the first twenty minutes or so are pretty much just hanging on the front like a skin tag. Nothing useful there. And if you look it too closely, it'll hang with you when you try to look at the rest. And then when you look away too.
Well, this film might be doing some ridiculous thing where it's trying to make sense and establish the undead biker gang, a magic mirror, a toad, and impetulent teens as a logical story, but I wouldn't think so. I tuned back in mentally when some guy was looking through the mirror on the wall and seeing a frog. And then watching as that frog morphs into...Alright, confession time. We've known each other for a little bit now. I feel like I can be honest with you. To be truthful, I just re-wound (there's a word you don't see much anymore! urwelcome) to re-assess and realized that I still don't know what the heck is happening in this film. I mean, the frog turned into a kid running through a cemetery then into an infant and the dude watching just starts to go nuts. Am I missing out on some social references here? Is there some cypher I haven't yet cracked to put me in touch with this film?
And then we snap back to the undead biker gang. Connection? No thank you, say the filmmakers. We'll stick with our avante-garde. What's the viewer get out of it? Kids on bikes being invincible and tearing shit up. Again...urwelcome.
The basic message here? If you believe you'll come back to life after killing yourself, you will. Maybe not the most responsible thing to pass on to an impressionable emo-generation. But whatever. All in the name of entertainment. Besides, it's British. 70's British. What else can you say?
Just keep teenage bikers from actually wanting to actually die and everything will be okay.
Wait. That's actually decent advice that makes some sense.
How did that happen?
